ini itu hidup, ini itu kamu, ini itu Doramomon

I just remember some kind of  Beethoven wrote about, as his reflection of life for what he
gained along his life included his lack of happines. He just mentioned one 
little word we called syukur. Be grateful. Be grateful as simple as we say 'easy'.


Sadness. Sadness is a word I don't want to mention for so long time.
When it affects me, it affects almost everything. People around, even they did nothing, and also all things I should have created. It's kinda nuclear bomb. Isn't it? :P

So I just decided to be sad. I started to cry, but wait, it won't help I think. So I try not to cry. In fact, I cry a lil'bit. Instead...instead...what? Instead..I said syukur.

Day by day, I keep cheering up my own life in my own way. So I listening some guys shouting-singing. I turn on Netral on and on. I enjoy Michael Jackson's most outstanding clip, which made happily after he died. I sing When I Fall in Love of Nat King Cole. Sing it again and again untill one day my husband said about my voice spreading black aura.

It has already gone. Still I sad? May I cry? If permitted, I will. I will happily cry. Everywhere. Anytime. Misery, broken-heart, upset, disappoinment, anything you can mention as children of Mr. Sadness,
I will born them.
I will born Mr. Sadness's children.
Even I know that's the wrong way to celebrate my failure to have my completely 9-month-baby.
A failure, actually. For the second time.

In fact, I only wipe tears. Wiping, not crying.
I said also syukur.
Alhamdulillah.


Its a tribute.